I'm not welcome

While I'm sure there are much larger issues confounding the fast food industry these days, if I were in charge the first thing I would do is enforce manners.

Humor me and take this little pop quiz.

You work at McDonald's. When you hand the food to the drive thru customer and she says, "Thank you," the correct response is:
a) {Silence}
b) Yup.
c) You're welcome.
d) Have a good one.
e) Thank YOU! Have a good evening.

Of course, living in fantasy land, the correct answer is E. I'll even settle for the pretty lame D. And while A is infuriating, it's both B and C that piss me off the most.

Yup? You're welcome? ... Really? I just gave you money... chose your restaurant over countless others... inexplicably thanked you for the "privilege" of paying $1.24 for a soda that cost you $0.15... and all you can muster up is "Yup" or "You're welcome"?

No. I'm not welcome. YOU'RE welcome.

How did the roles get so reversed? They should be thanking me for stopping and shopping. I should be offered the opportunity to graciously say, "Oh, you're welcome." It makes me feel all good inside. Look! I gave them business! They appreciated it! And I got to act like it was no big deal!

That's how the transaction is supposed to work, people.

But no. I'm left driving off in a huff, muttering unmentionable things under my breath because either no one taught them to thank the customer or no one's enforcing it.

A shame. Because I already feel bad enough about myself for buying fast food. Do I now have to feel bad about society, too?

Evidently.

So, no. I'm not welcome. And if the drive thru staff knew how I felt about them when they act like this, I really wouldn't be welcome. But as we've all learned from Eminem music videos, they'll spit in your hamburger if they don't like you, so I'm keeping my opinions to myself on this one.

But you can bet the minute I become a McDonald's manager... things are going to change. Massive reform. Yes we can.

You'll be grateful to me! You might even thank me. And I'll respond, "You're welcome." And you really will be.