I’ve got Lance in my pants.

My friend Dee and I recently completed a 3,000+ mile roadtrip to the North Carolina coast and back to Iowa. Upon hearing we were driving, several people asked, “Do you hate to fly?” Actually, no. I love to fly. Love to travel in general. By land, air, sea… I’ve even jumped out of a plane and flown in a hot air balloon. So driving was clearly a purposeful choice. There’s just something about a roadtrip!

And so… in my first few blog entries, (as I get used to this scary—to me—medium) I thought I’d share a few tidbits from our trip.

Let’s start with everyone’s favorite road trip pastime—the license plate game.

Yes, we played the license plate game. I can’t help it – it’s a holdover from my youth when my family traveled to New Jersey at least once each year to visit our relatives. We were always playing the license plate game. Last year when we made this NC trip, I made Dee and I compile the list of states (which we would then check off as we saw their license plates) purely from memory. It’s humbling to think you’ve listed every state and then count them up only to find you’re 11 short and have NO idea what you’re missing. Last year’s infamous Bess-ism came when I proclaimed we were missing “Las Vegas!” Now, come on. I know it’s not a state. And in my defense, we *were* missing Nevada. But it was still hilarious. On a related note, I think we did much better listing the states this year. It might be time to try out for “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”.

We actually did really well at the license plate game – I think we saw 43 of the 50 states/plus D.C. The highlight came outside Hickory, NC, when Dee shouted, “Hawaii!!” And sure enough, a Hawaii car was passing us. Craziness! We then had to Google how much it costs to ship your car over here from Hawaii. $1,000, evidently. I think I'm surprised it's that low. (On a related note, “We’ll have to Google that” was the single most commonly uttered phrase on our vacation. Seriously… what did we *do* before the Internet? Just sit around and wonder? It’s so hard to remember.)

We also saw a license plate that said ALASKA – as in, a vanity plate that read ALASKA across it. There was a frame around the plate, so we couldn’t read what state it was actually from. A moral dilemma ensued… can you count that as seeing an Alaska license plate? Who is the judge and jury of the license plate game? We tentatively planned to count it, until we later saw an actual license plate from Alaska. Thank goodness… no more guilt. (BTW – those frames around the license plates have GOT to go! Thank heavens the Hawaii people didn’t have a frame around their plate. We would have missed out on one of the highlights of the roadtrip!)

While checking out license plates, we ran across a few other humorous messages. We saw a bumper sticker that read “Not my man” and one that read “Save the ta-tas.” Upon Googling, we learned the first is part of a political movement in Indiana. The second is related to breast cancer fundraising. Yeah... not as entertaining once we Googled them. But before Googling them the possible meanings made for some interesting discussions.

We also passed a semi carrying Lance snack foods (you know, the packages of crackers with peanut butter or crackers with “cheese.”) The entire side of the semi read “I’ve got Lance in my pants.” Now that was pure roadtrip entertainment! And a classic title for my first blog post. Everyone's gonna get the wrong idea about this blog. (And by everyone, I mean all two of my readers. Hi, guys!)

One final license plate-related note (kind of) – There’s a trucking company near Des Moines called Jacobson trucking. Obviously it’s fun for me to see those trucks (“Hey – there’s my name!”—for some reason that never gets old to me), but I see them all the time. There are also trucks out of Nebraska that say BEATRICE on the side – and those are much more rare to see. Over the years I have decided that any trip during which I see both a Jacobson and a Beatrice truck is going to be a great trip. I do this all the time – driving to work or driving cross country—it doesn’t matter how long the trip will be.

Well, I’m happy to report that we saw one Beatrice truck on this trip – during the last leg traveling through Missouri into Iowa. Phew! That brought me almost as much joy as seeing the Hawaii license plate. I could finally proclaim it to be a great trip. And how could it not be? With the wind at our back (I guess; the air conditioning was on the whole time so it was hard to tell), the open road ahead of us and a little Lance in our pants.

Next time I post, perhaps I’ll detail some of the places we visited on the great roadtrip of '08. I'm off to think of a good title for that post!